Day 67: Salty thoughts
Death has barged into my life one too many times over the past couple months. A few months ago, my stepmom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Fortunately, she caught it in the early stages, but facing cancer head-on was enough to shake us all up. What if she hadn’t caught it in time? Imagining a life without Liz wasn’t something any of us wanted to think about.
Shortly after, my best friend’s mom – fellow Pisces, haunting enthusiast and lover of superfluous storytelling – and also a breast cancer survivor, found out the cancer was back. It had metastasized to her lungs. I broke down sobbing: for her having to endure this disease, for my best friend who’s confronting the horrific What Ifs, for the people that have to live without a mother.
Meanwhile, my boyfriend’s brother attempted suicide shortly after the family memorialized the year-anniversary of their mother’s death. The fragility of life was banging loudly at my door.
A few weeks ago, it came crashing in. I found out a 17-year-old boy was killed in a drunk-driving accident. During the funeral service, I recalled memories of him: a toddler wobbling around as our families roasted hot dogs, marshmallows and hobo pies together during our annual camping trips. The church pews held hundreds of tear-streaked faces, family and friends shaken by the short life of a charismatic, adventurous kid on the verge of high school graduation. I remember losing a friend in high school. My heart went out to those who lost a friend. Now, as a parent, my heart wrenched for Timmy’s parents. You’re not supposed to bury your kids.
This past Friday, my mom called. I asked what was going on and her three-second pause in response indicated something was wrong. Who’s getting divorced? Was it one of my brother’s newborn twins? Did something happen to one of my grandparents?
“Becca died.” I wasn’t prepared for this, for death to still be lurking. A whole new set of emotions ripped through me when I learned it was suicide. I pulled my car over as salty thoughts of my captivating, beautiful cousin streamed down my face.
Life will never be the same: not for her parents and sister, not for her grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. She won’t be there to spend Christmas in my new house – recalling memories of growing up with her grandparents. She won’t be there to laugh at Uncle Danny’s jokes. On March 26, she won’t turn 22. She’ll be forever frozen in time as a 21-year-old girl who had the world ahead of her.
Life is ephemeral. That message has been loud and clear over the past few months. Don’t wait for tomorrow; it may never come. Appreciate the little moments, make memories, love with all you have. Live life.
My cousin Becca
Day 66: And this concludes The Renter Debacle series
Tomorrow marks the day my potential home is finally empty. It’s been about five months since I’ve last walked through it. I’m dying to get in there again so I can re-imagine all the possibilities.
Back in December when I was on the verge of becoming an Alger Heights homeowner, I’d spent a couple hours inside the home during inspections snapping photos from every which way, measuring walls, windows and furiously scribbling notes. In the weeks afterward, I spent my evenings vigorously perusing Pinterest and home décor magazines in search of inspiration for Calin’s bedroom and my kitchen. It was fun and, more importantly, productive with a specific need in mind. Maximizing space for Calin’s tiny bedroom led me down a few creative and affordable paths. Adding aesthetic storage to the kitchen on a budget was challenging since the possibilities seemed endless, but I managed to narrow it down to just a few ideas. I couldn’t wait to move in to really get a feel for what would work. (And then that story came to a screeching halt…)
Over the past several months I’ve been itchin’ to bookmark ideas again that will work for creating functional, comfortable and beautiful spaces for my new home. Only problem is, my frame of reference for what exists was clouded thanks to the two rushed walkthroughs. The home felt right, but feeling like an intruder, or the bad cop carrying an eviction notice, prevented me from soaking in the details. Plus, there was no way I was snapping any photos under the menacing eye of the family that waited begrudgingly as I strolled through their home. Expressing any ounce of excitement felt like it’d be rubbing salt in an open wound.
Despite my foggy memory, I do remember the house being a blank canvas of white walls. A splash of color here and there is a must. The kitchen could use a facelift, but I didn’t look closely enough to see whether a fresh paint job, new hardware, maybe a backsplash will do the trick or if a complete overhaul is in order. I also have grand plans of tearing down the shed to make room for a cozy backyard oasis. But you know how you go back to a place you frequented as a kid only to discover that it’s much smaller than you remember? I’m really hoping this isn’t the case with the ‘massive’ shed.
I’m thrilled that tonight is the finale of what seemed to be a neverending drama of the renter debacle. Soon I’ll be able to see what I actually (might) have to work with and jump back into my novice pursuit of interior design. Stay tuned for photos!
Day 65: A lesson in color
The perfect spot for discreet stakeouts
As I’ve mentioned before, waiting for my new home has turned me into a stalker. I drive by my house nearly every weekend. This weekend, however, was different. Instead of driving slowly by, I parked kiddie corner. And there we sat, my boyfriend Ben and I, debating paint colors for at least 20 minutes. Creepy to any onlookers, perhaps. To me? Productivity!
I’d like to change the color of the siding. Ben, my little godsend, pointed out the pink undertones of the siding, the brick is a sand color, the shingles are caramel and many other subtleties in color I’d never have noticed. And now I can’t stop thinking of shades of orange, green and brown: terracotta, sage, caramel, honey, toffee. Green with gray undertones versus yellow. Brown with a hint of burnt orange. The possibilities seem endless, but only few will do. Thank god Ben has a knack for color; my head is spinning.
Driving has becoming a constant state of research. Brick, window trim and siding color combinations are like magnets (I should really do more walking than driving for safety reasons). I’m in full critique mode, too, praying I don’t repeat some of the mistakes I see. Like the wrong shade of green turning into a sea of mashed peas or a blob of peanut butter spackled across the house.
And who knew there were such a variety of shingle colors. Until this weekend, my brain only recognized black and brown. Simpleton! Now I see pepper, tar, mocha, forest green, cayenne…
It never occurred to me to match the siding paint to the brick AND rooftop. See? My stakeout was productive. Now, only two more months ’til I can actually raise a paint brush.
Day 64: Serving up homegrown goodness
The idea of growing my own produce has been increasingly appealing in the past few years. My rental home, unfortunately, doesn’t offer suitable space. Now that gardening weather is just around the corner and I’m verging on the edge of homeownership, I figured now would be the perfect time to plant some tomatoes.
But there’s one that one little thing holding me back. You’d think being a mother, one would posses the capability to nourish a mature, long-lasting plant. My little boy sprouts like a healthy little weed year after year; how hard can keeping a plant alive really be? Well, it turns out child-rearing and plant-bearing have nothing in common. I’ve got a black thumb. Plants meet their demise under my care – every time.
A coworker friend of mine recently revealed her knack for growing veggies, fruit and herbs. Perhaps she can help me surface shades of green hiding beneath my black prints. Meet Kelly Metsker, corporate pro by day, runner, foodie and gardener by life.
Kelly Metsker
______
The birth of Kelly's garden
When Kara asked me to write a guest post about gardening, I was thrilled – at first. Then I quickly became intimidated by the task. Funny – that’s exactly how I felt when I decided to grow a rather large veggie, fruit and herb garden last spring.
So here it goes…my adventure, my advice, and a few things I’ve learned along the way.
In an effort to eliminate nearly all processed foods from my diet, the idea of growing my own food was thrilling, but when I began to research and turn the first bit of soil, it became a little intimidating. But, as my philosophy goes “if you want something, make it happen”. So, I did.
When I told my friends and family about my garden plans they were excited and volunteered to take anything ‘extra’ I may have. They were also quick to warn me “start small,” “don’t do too much,” and “watch out for the weeds.” But, in typical Kelly fashion, I didn’t listen and set out to prove to everyone that I could do it, and do it BIG! My intimidation quickly dissolved and the excitement took over.
I planted nearly 75 square feet (give or take), which doesn’t include the five potted tomato plants and six potted herbs. My garden consisted of six varieties of peppers, two melons, four squash, three varieties of onions, three sugar snap peas, two cucumbers (one died) and three strawberry. As my dear mother said, “you tend to over do things, you always have.” Well said. “If only the food would grow as fast as the weeds,” was a recurring thought. It was definitely a lot of work, but I learned a lot.
So here it is, trial by fire…
- Location, location, location! Finding the right location is key to a successful garden. The size of the space will help you determine what to plant, or if you need to supplement the space with pots, but having the right amount of sun is important. Also, you’ll want to think about closing your garden off with a fence or chicken wire to keep away pesky rabbits, or your family dog, from eating everything before you get a chance to harvest it!
- Dirt vs. soil- Is there a difference? If you ask me, no. I’m not an agricultural genius, but I do consider the two things a bit different. Dirt, to me, is the stuff you get off the ground or by digging a hole. Soil, to me, is the stuff you buy in a bag at the store. They both work. I mainly use dirt, but will add a little soil to my potted plants because the soil tends to be super nutrient rich – and I can’t say for certain that my dirt is nutrient rich! But as you read on, you’ll find that fertilizer can make your dirt nutrient rich without buying the pricey soil in a bag.
- Pots vs. ground – there’s a need for both.Herbs grow really well in pots, as do tomatoes. I have personally never planted tomatoes in the ground because my ground spots don’t offer the amount of sun that tomatoes need. I’ve also grown strawberries in pots, which seemed to work well, however, my dog ate most of them because I situated them too close to the fence. Lesson learned!If you’re limited to a small space, or have limited sunlight, pots are your best option because you’re able to move them into or out of the sun, and they can be set virtually anywhere. Think outside of the box as far as location. When I lived in an apartment on the second floor of a house, I was still able to grow tomatoes and herbs. They just happened to be in pots on the roof! But take caution if you choose rooftop growing; bring your plants inside during a storm because after several tumbles to the ground, they may not survive.Herbs are a great way to start because they can be grown inside, year round, if you have enough sunlight. Keeping indoor potted herbs is a great way to add extra freshness to your meals without the hefty grocery store price tag. Plus, you can always move your herbs outside during the summer. A third option is called “raised bed.” This is a bit more work but tends to yield a larger crop due to the soil and plant spacing. I’m not too familiar with raised bed, but I plan to try it myself this year.
- Simple tools. The good news is you really don’t need a lot. If you’re growing in pots, then you’ll only need a bypass pruner. If you’re growing in the ground, I suggest a bypass pruner, a trowel, and my favorite: the garden hoe. With these three tools you’ll be ready to maintain your home garden. Also, treat yourself to the wood-handled stainless steel tools. The cheaper ones tend to break easily – and rust.
- Do Your Homework. Before planting anything, research. You may be surprised as to what you learn, like certain things shouldn’t be planted next to each other. For example, you don’t want to plant your peppers next to your strawberries. They don’t play nice together! Certain plants make the soil acidic – which means their neighboring plants must also like acidic soil. On the other hand, there are plants that work nicely together. The other thing to consider is that you have early and late harvest. Some plants, like lettuce or leafy greens, prefer the cooler climate we experience in Michigan during May and June. But most importantly, learn about and plant the things you love to eat! And, if you have the space, plant a few of everything. That way if one plant doesn’t make it, another might.
- Fertilizer, water, sunshine and attention. The four ingredients to a successful garden.
To keep it simple, you can use egg shells as fertilizer – they work great! My preference is to purchase organic fertilizer from the store and supplement with egg shells when I have them. You can use both types of fertilizer, or just one. There are a lot of choices, so again, do your homework.Water is also important – obviously. But be careful not to overdo it, too much water can give your plants root rot. But they’ll dry out without enough. A good rule of thumb for watering is to keep the top layer of soil damp five out of seven days per week. But the best advice is to be aware of the weather. If it rains like crazy, you probably don’t need to water for a few days. If you haven’t seen rain in weeks, you should probably water every day or so.Sun, sun, sun! Most fruits and vegetables need about six hours of direct sun per day, so choose your location wisely. Make sure to read the seed package or planter to find out exactly the type and amount of sunlight each plant needs per day.And finally, pay attention. You need to be aware of what’s going on in your garden, and make changes as necessary. Not to mention, you’ll need to stay ahead of the weeds – which I find nearly impossible! You know the saying “growing like a weed?” Well, it’s true. Weeds grow fast, much faster than your crop, so you’ll need to keep them under control so they don’t overtake everything else.
Whew…. and I thought I’d struggle to find things to tell Kara about gardening! But I could go on and on and on with even more tips and tricks. But I won’t, because part of the fun is learning along the way. So, whether you take on the monster challenge of an enormous garden like I did, or you start by simply planting one potted herb, you’ll quickly recognize the reward of growing your own food and knowing exactly where it came from. You can do it, and don’t be afraid to fail. For as many years as I’ve been growing, every year something dies and every year I learn something new. Be open to the challenge!
When you’re ready to get started, start here! http://migarden.msu.edu/migarden/vegetables If you’re planting seeds – get moving. You should be starting your seeds indoors now. If you’re buying starter plants (my preferred method), then you have some time. General rule: Mother’s Day weekend is the beginning of the season!
_____
Education – always a great first step to starting anything new. Afterall, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” was my bible as I prepared to be a mom. Kelly’s advice was with me as I bought seeds and starter plants this weekend (though, according to that last bit of advice, I’m lagging behind). Kelly’s tip on getting creative with location is just what I needed. I’ve definitely let my second-floor apartment stop me from potting tomatoes. I thought I’d have to transfer them to the ground at some point. And, like Kelly said, part of the fun is learning along the way. That’s parenting to a tee.
Thank you, Kelly, for motivating me to finally start this seed-sprouting adventure. My first tomato is yours!
Day 63: News, finally.
Patience is a virtue. And with this house hunt, I needed it more than ever. Ten months, 90-or-so houses and three offers later, I now have a semi solid projection of when I’ll finally be a homeowner. Yes, semi; it’s still not solid.
It’s been more than three months since I fell in love with the Ottawa Hills home. It’s been more than a month since I thought the renter would be renting elsewhere by this point. It’s been two weeks since I thought I’d hear that the house would be passing inspections at some point in April.
I learned this week, however, that the little nuisance won’t be moving out until Memorial Day weekend. That is nearly two whole months from now! Which means with inspections and closing, which will take weeks, I won’t be moving in until July.
Until then, I’ll patiently continue my stalker-like drive-bys past the house. (Can’t wait until my sprained foot heals; that way I can start doing walk-bys and really soak it all in.) I’m not really sure what the point is, but checking up on it and admiring my soon-to-be neighborhood seems to make homeownership a bit more real.
Good thing time flies these days; I don’t know how much longer I can be patient.
Day 62: I’d rather be drinking lemonade
Photo by shutterbug_kel on Flickr
“I’d rather be drinking lemonade.” That was Ben’s reflection of homeownership. I hid my smile; what an eloquent summation of yours truly.
Should I be worried that my disposition tends toward sipping a beverage? Toward feet up, lost in the woven words of a novel while the sun’s golden warmth swirls around my skin, or surrounded by the twinkle of fireflies dancing amidst an evening serenade of summer’s creatures? Enjoying nature’s simple splendor sounds like a much better way to spend an hour of my life than picking up toys that litter my living room floor or organizing piles of clutter that seem to sprout like weeds.
The roots of Ben’s reflection, paired with my inherent aversion toward mundane household chores, led to a slight tinge of anxiety. Perhaps I’m biting off more than I can chew? Fortunately, the optimist in me dominates. To heck with that pesky little voice. I’m holding on to the hope that with homeownership comes a proactive energy to organize and tidy. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Mind over matter, right?
Any tips to achieve this are welcome.
Day 61: The house hunt is officially over
A whirlwind of change swept me up and away from writing this blog. I’d like to say not much has happened in the past few weeks to write about, but the truth is, ideas strike me almost daily. More importantly, I found out the Ottawa Hills home will officially be mine! But it won’t come easily.
I mentioned back in January that the renter who currently lives there was being evicted.* Part of that process included one more chance to secure a mortgage pre-approval. He couldn’t, which meant my offer was accepted. He was supposed to move out by February 29. Instead of packing up, however, he hired a lawyer. The lawyer representing the homeowner mentioned calling on a real-estate litigation specialist “in case things get bloody.” Lovely. What’s one more twist in my house-hunt story? Needless to say, a closing date is to be determined.
Frustrating, but I knew a drawn-out process was a possibility. On the bright side, I won’t have to trudge my belongings through dirty, slushy snow. And I don’t have to be out of Eastown by a specific date. I’m antsy to move in but content knowing the house will eventually be my home.
While the after effects of change are still whirling, I do like to finish what I start. So I promise to attempt to be more diligent in writing this blog.
*I sound like a heartless meany discussing this man’s eviction with such indifference. I’m not – I promise! And Ruth, the homeowner, is the type of lady you can’t help but hug.
Day 60: My letter of resignation
I went through this once before. Debating whether or not to write daily. I decided to go for it, ignoring the ramifications of a Project 365 commitment. Letting words flow from my fingertips every night is therapeutic. Shaping those words into a story is gratifying. Sleep loss, stressful mornings (because I didn’t make lunch or iron the night before), and a disheveled house (on top of what’s already not my strong suit), to name a few, was worth it.
In the past week or so I remembered it’s also difficult to take up new hobbies and make room for new people. So here’s my resignation from writing a daily blog. I’ll still aim for two or three a week until I reach 365, but there are a few other things I’d like to pay more attention to.
If all works out with the Ottawa Hills house, I won’t have much to say in the next two months, anyway. The man currently renting from Ruth (the homeowner) isn’t willing to leave. Since he’s not in a lease, the eviction notice will hopefully get him moving and out by end of February. If he decides to resist it, which is highly likely, that could tack another month on to the process. If the court decides his case is sensible, which the lawyer said is unlikely, things could drag out ’til summer. Who knew buying a house would be so dramatic?
Day 59: Good things happen in threes
I can vouch for it. Good things do happen in threes. But only if you stop counting at three. It seems to have been raining wonderful all around me since 2012 began. Read more…
Day 58: Third time’s a charm, so they say
My realtor asked if I wanted to write an offer for the Ottawa Hills house. I hemmed and hawed. Earlier this week, I received a message of advice from a friend who reads this blog. Her words were appreciated and painted a realistic portrait. But they filled me to the brim with doubt.
I mulled over whether I should continue to seriously consider buying this house. I worried about the headaches the big, old home would bring. But that’s the reality of buying any house, especially an older one, I reminded myself. Those hassles, my friend noted, will be much more bearable if you’re head-over-heels in love with the house.
Fortunately, my friend Ben asked me what the house was like. My memory carried me from room to room, pausing at the built-in book shelves, the sunroom and spacious kitchen. It took a little time to get there – to get past the imperfections – but I realized as I talked him through it, I am head-over-heels in love with the house.
So I met up with Dan, my realtor, to make it kind of official and sign some papers. By ‘kind of’, I mean the house isn’t listed. And the tenant is trying to snag the house, too. Who knows what will happen. Perhaps what they say about third time being a charm is true. I’ve put an offer in on three houses now. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If not, well, then something even better must be waiting around the corner.
Unfolding the Story of My Life 